Baca blog gw sama aja kayak baca tulisan cacat dan gak berbobot. Gak akan ada kata-kata ato cerita yang bermanfaat bagi Nusa dan Bangsa. Paling cuma bisa buat obat susah eek aja. Karena cerita disini berpotensi membuat anda mual-mual dan mules-mules.. hehe
Posted on Kamis, November 01, 2007

Nama - Nama Beken Gw

By Afaa Alghifaary di Kamis, November 01, 2007

Selama gw mengecap bangku smp sampe kuliah, gw punya banyak nama panggilan. Dari yang ancur, sampe yag rusak (emang nama gwga ada yg bagus, mungkin disesuaikan ma muka dan nasib kali ye). Berikut daftar nama2 ancur gw :

1. Mister Black
Ni nama dikasih waktu gw masih smp di bogor. Gw lupa siapa nama org yg kasih gw julukan ini. Yang pasti dia orangnya gendut bulet kaay gentong aer dipakein baju. Dulu kan lagi jamannya pilm saras 008, dan ada musuhnya yang namanya mister black. Berhubung gw item, jadi gw dipanggil mister black.

2. Bambang
Yang kasih ni nama yaitu Tommy. Bukan, dia bukannya anak mantan presiden kita. Tapi ada satu persamaan dari tomy temn ga ma tommy suharto. Bapaknya tommy temen gw ma tommy suharto sama-sama bapak-bapak. Ceritanya waktu pertama kali masuk sma (masih ospek nih, masih pake baju smp), kita belom kenal. Waktu itu dia pengen minjem penghapus ke gw (dia minjem ma orang yg salah, boro2 pengapus buku aja gw ga bawa), dia manggil2 gw seenaknya, "Bambang, bambang,,gw pinjem penghapus donk". Gw diem aja, ngerasa nama gw bukan bambang, eh dia manggil gitu lagi sambil nyolek2 gw. Akhirnya gw bilang aja, "sorry ya, nama eike bukan bambang, tapi tina. Najis deh eike punya nama bambang. kampungan, nek.."dengan gaya melambai-lambai kaya bencong kena rabies. Tinggal dia yg bengong.

3. Black
Kalo ni temen sma gw yg panggil gw begini, namanya mega. Badannya juga bulet kaya tmen smp gw si gentong aer berbaju itu. Emang deh orang gendut punya pemikiran yg sama. Hebat. (*terharu)

4. Ugly Fary dan Very Ugly
Nama ini dikasih ma tmen (yg malah mirip peliharaan) gw, namanya bagus firmansyah binti slamet medjo. Dia plesetin nama gw, alghifary jadi begitu karna katanya muka gw jelek banget kaya jenglot keselek duren. (ini salah satu contoh org yg sirik ma kegantengan gw). *ehem....

5. Joker
Julukan ini gw dapet pas gw kelas 3, di kelas 3 IPS 5 yg isinya adalah orang2 imbisil dan abnormal smua. Pertama kali yg manggil gw gini sih sang ketua kelas, Ozan. Gw kira dia manggil gw joker karna gw termasuk salah satu jomblo yg keren (dulu gw masih jomblo, kalo sekarang kan....tetep, wehehe). Eh ga taunya, dia manggil gw begitu karna kata dia, bibir gw lebar kaya joker musuhnya batman. Kampreett...(ini orang kedua yg sirik ma gw)...

6. Eden
Ni baru temen kuliah gw yg manggil gw begini. Namanya sigit, anak tentara depresi. Knp dia manggil gw begtu..?karna, kan dikelas gw ada anak yg super alim namanya arief. Kalo diajak makan/jalan, pasti dia nanya, "nanti sholatnya dimana?" ato pas ditanya udah pernah nonton bokep ato belom, dia jawab "belom pernah sama sekali". Akhirnya gw bikin rencana pengen tepu dia. gw pura2 ngajak dia belajar kelompok di rumah mas wahyu, perantau dari solo yg bdannya kekar kya hulk. Pas sampe sono, gw pengennya langsung nyetel bokep, biar dia ngerasain gimana rasanya nonton bokep. Sayang rencana gw gagal, karna diduga udah dibocorin ama pihak2 tertentu. Terus kan dia pulangnya searah ma gw (naek bsi yg sama pula), kdang2 kalo dia ngajak solat dulu, gw nolak dengan tegas (dongo...ga solat koq bangga..??). Karna sifat gw yg menyesatkan arief ini, akhirnya gw dipanggil "EDEN" ma temn2 gw. Eden kan tugasnya juga nyesatin manusia.

Itu dia nama-nama julukan gw sewaktu smp sampe sma. Gw cuma bisa b'doa, mudah2an org2 yg telah b'bohong dan ngasih julukan yg ga sesuai dgn karakter gw ini, dosa-dosanya diampuni tuhan, dan amal ibadahnnya diterima di sisi-Nya. Amiiinn.....

NB : Ternyata icha yg gw bahas di postingan yg lalu, itu beneran tmen sd gw. Thanks God, akhirnya gw bisa juga komunikasi lagi ma temn sd gw, walopun cuma lewat dunia maya.

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